Mindful Monday: Customizing Your Life

You’ll never change your life until you change something you do daily. The secret of your success if found in your daily routine. The difference between who you are, versus who you want to be, is what you to. Pick up some motivation.

How do you create a routine? (and stick to it?)

I am no master, or expert in this subject. This is merely stemmed from a personal experience. When you begin your day with self care, you’re putting your needs before everyone else. A morning routine is saying YES, and allowing yourself that time to blossom. I’ve come to find that morning routines help with: creating an energetic space, allow for more clarity, invigorate intentions, maintaining positivity and an increase in productivity.

Hal Elrod wrote a book called, “The Miracle Morning” and broke routines down into an acronym, “S.A.V.E.R.S”

(S)ilence 10 mins: I have an app on my iPhone called “Breathe” and use it for guided meditation every morning.

(A)ffirmations 5 mins: I always say my affirmations out loud and in front of a mirror.

(V)isualization 5 mins: Create the life what you want in your mind, including the people and experiences to ensure ultimate fulfillment.

(E)xcercise 10 mins: I’ve been enjoying yoga these last few months. Do what makes you happy, and invigorated.

(R)eading 10 mins: Immerse yourself in an inspirational read. I’m currently reading “The Gifts of Imperfection” and “Eat Like You Care”.

(S)cribing 10 mins: aka, journaling. This has been part of my routine for years. Use this time to write what you are most grateful for. This works wonders.

If you want to direct your life, take control of consistent actions. Want to write well? Write everyday. Want to tone up? Fit in exercise frequently. What we do once will never shape out life. Remember, what is done in love is done well.

Good luck. xo, T.

 

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Mindful Monday: Risk or regret? You choose.

On particularly rough days, when I’m sure that I cannot possibly endure, I remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days (so far) is 100% and that’s pretty damn good. You fall, you rise, you make mistakes, you learn. You’re human. You’ve been hurt, but you’re alive. Think about what a precious thing is it to be ALIVE – to breathe, to think, to enjoy, and to chase the things you love. Sometimes there is sadness in our journey, but there is also SO much beauty. We must keep putting one foot in front of the other even when we are hurt, for we will never know what’s waiting for us on the other side of fear.

To clarify, there are no (and haven’t been) dark clouds in my days recently, but I have been surrounded by loved ones dealing with dark days. A lesson in learning in that when someone you love swims in deep water, you need to be with them. We can throw stones, complain about them, stumble on them, climb over them or.. we can build with them.

A valuable piece of advice to those going through hard times: Growth is painful, and so is change. But nothing is as painful as staying stuck somewhere where you don’t belong.

Herein lies the power of mind. Everything begins and ends in mind. What you give power to, has power over you.. If you allow it. Instead of saying “I’m not good at this” try saying, “What am I missing?”. Instead of saying “I give up” try saying, “This may take some more time and effort”. You can’t get much done in life if you only work on days you feel good, right? So, it’s OKAY to suffer the pain of discipline, or would you much rather suffer the pain of regret? Your choice.

Good luck. Xo, T

Fortunate Friday: Does your mind control your life?

Until you cross the bridge of your insecurities, there’s no way that you could even begin to explore possibilities. Put on your positive pants! My mind is always at a constant race – overthinking situations – the root cause of past unhappiness. Generally, I’m content but I’m also not a robot, I’m human and I’m continuously “filled with feelings” for people, for the world, for the environment, for the animals..

Too often, we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, a compliment, or a small act of compassion – all of which have the potential to influence an abundant life. I’ve come to realize that talking about our problems is our greatest addiction. Break the habit, let’s focus on joy & blissfulness.

I’m a firm believer in intention & mantras, both of which have been scientifically proven to influence perception. Think about this: Everytime the sun sets, luminous colors are left. These colors give promise to a new day. A new day brings new intention – choice, change, chance. I’ve learned (and still learning!) that energy introduces you even before an exchange of words.. because faith & doubt cannot exist in the same mind.

So, I’ve stopped apologizing for being “sensitive” or “emotional”. You should too. I’m no longer afraid of revealing my heart & letting others bask in its infectious nature. You should too. Showing emotions is a sign of courage so go ahead, acquire some strength & seek adventures to open your mind. The world needs it.

Good luck. Xo, T.

Choose Meaningful Friendships

2016 has brought a plethora of changes – mostly positive, but some negative – boy, have I found myself in the deepest depths of reflection when it comes to all my friendships.

 Sometimes, we need someone to simply be there. Someone to just BE. Not to fix anything, or to do anything in particular but just to let us know that we are supported when we are scared. That’s when I’m reminded of the true meaning of friendship; someone to love you – the imperfect you, the confused you, the wrong you – because that’s what people are supposed to do.

If I’ve learned anything about this topic, it’s to consistently make an effort to hang on, stay connected, put in effort, fight for them & never walk away or be distracted, don’t be too busy or too tired and don’t take them for granted. Friends are a part of the glue that holds life and fate together – powerful stuff. With gentle honesty, close friends are truly one of life’s treasures to offer us a presence to remind us that we are never alone.

BUT..
If you have to force it, leave it.
Relationships, friendships, yoga poses, top knot.
Let that shit go.

When connections are real, they can never die but they can be buried or ignored. If you’ve found deep resonance with another being, connection will remain despite distance, time, situation or circumstance. If you’re doubtful, revisit to see if you can make sense of the spaces between. If it’s true, you’ll instantly find yourself being swept back into the moment with the same wonder, hope, comfort & heartbeat.

Q: What have your experiences with friendship been like?

Xo, T.

Fortunate Friday: Discovering my health

In 2012, I had no balance. I found myself binging on late-night McDonalds and relying on processed foods to fill my nutrient and calorie deficiencies. Until one morning, I woke up with an awful outbreak of eczema on my thighs, my stomach, my hands and my face. With a shattered self-confidence, I made my way into a dermatologists office in which I was offered steroids as my course of treatment. I declined.

I obsessively researched ways to cure control my eczema and fell deeply engrossed with the mission of homeopathy. I found myself investing time to cook, create recipes and soon realized that I felt contentment in the kitchen. I found myself truly savoring every bite of my whole-fooded meals and realized that buying groceries was more satisfying than anything materialistic. I fell in love with the process of choosing to prioritize my health. Three months later, my eczema completely disappeared.

Not only did my physical exterior change, so did my quality of life. Holistic health addressed my mind, body and soul. I decided to treat my body as a system instead of compartmentalizing myself into symptoms or parts. Most importantly, I learned (and still learning!) that nutrition does not mean low fat or low calorie. It’s a nourishment of your being so you can feel energized to live life to it’s true potential.

So here’s my doctors orders: Sometimes a small step may be the biggest step in the right direction. Tip toe if you must. Eating crappy food is not a reward, it’s a punishment, remember that! Lastly, fall in love with taking care of yourself.. Mind, body and spirit.

Good luck. Xo, T.
PS: Shoutout to my friend, Shireen, who inspired me to blog about this. Thanks girl!

To withhold 

You know what irritates me the most in life? Lying. It takes so much energy to lie, I don’t understand why people cannot grasp the freedom and liberation it feels to be honest and genuine. A single lie that is discovered can create enough contagious doubt over every truth that is expressed. 

If you have to defend it, it’s bullshit. If you have to explain it, it’s bullshit. If you have to convince yourself that they won’t understand, it’s bullshit.. It’s bullshit. All of it. You know it. 

Remember, you can’t have a healthy relationship with a person wearing a mask. Think of it this way – cheaters will always think others cheat, and liars will always think those of others – Let that simmer for a minute. I’d rather be known in this life as an honest sinner, than a liar. 

So here are my doctors orders: Respect those you love and don’t stoop yourself to a level of being a  hypocrite. The truth hurts for a little, but lies withstand in the future. Apologize if you’re wrong and don’t trust anybody willing to deliberately tweak the truth for their benefit. Don’t expect perfection, but do expect honesty. 

Good luck. Xo, T. 

Who you are is exactly enough

My demons, although quiet, are never quite silenced. Calm as they may seem to be, they wait patiently for a reason to awake, take an overdue breath and crawl back into my ear.

Am I alone in this never ending struggle to open up to someone? And when I finally allow myself to let my precious guard down, I feel crushed and rejected by their lack of response? One moment you’re trying to help the world become a better place, the next, you want to run away and disappear from everyone and everything?

A narcissist doesn’t reject you for who you are, but for who they are.. They abide by their selfish needs, unreasonable standards, high limitations and their own insecurities. I (or you) don’t have to internalize that but unfortunately for people like myself, my heart is too big, or so they say..

I am unafraid of many things but I am afraid of falling, drowning and rejection. As I look back on the things and people that I’ve been rejected by, I focused so much on the rejection being a negative, but as I sit here, I realize that I’m just being re-directed towards something better. I trust that when the answer is “no,” there is a better “yes” down the road. For the last few years, I have continuously wasted my time trying to explain who I am, and prove my worth to explicit people who are committed to misunderstanding me. Caveat is, their response almost (and always) entirely seems genuine until the fleeting feelings dissipate into an expiration date. On countless occasions, I shifted myself into multiple versions of a person I thought they’d appreciate, but nothing happened. I’d rather have a clear rejection than a fake promise any day, why pull on my emotional stability with a sense of hope? In my rational mind, I know I live by acceptance so I suppose, I’ll die by their rejection as well. I have so many words, but lack the courage.

So my doctors orders are (I too, need to follow my own advice): Continue to work hard and focus on yourself. Do not chase people. The right people who belong in your life will find a place and stay. You do your own thing. Your worth isn’t contingent on someone’s approval. You exist, you matter. Don’t ever feel guilty for asserting your needs and the need for space. Most importantly, you’re allowed to hold into the truth that who you are is exactly enough.

We all struggle and we all have to sacrifice.

Good luck. Xo, T.