Sometimes, you can’t help who you fall for. You can’t control the agenda of them taking you to places you’ve never been before. There are two things that prevent us from experiencing happiness: Living in the past and observing others.
My love story began the summer of 2009; the newest girl in a small town off the coast in Southern California, seeking adventure and new experiences but also, jaded because of past heartbreaks. Until the most unexpected boy with green eyes spotted me; he had the kind of eyes that you could get lost in. Soon after, my pride kept on saying it was impossible, my experience saying it was too risky, my reason saying it was pointless but ultimately, worth the risk whispered my heart. I found pieces of him in every song that I listened to.. And suddenly, every love song was about him. 4 and a half years later, we called it quits – Not because we didn’t love each other but because we kept seeking something that was missing. The next 5 months were spent finding ourselves and experiencing life without one another.
During that 5 month hiatus, I found myself seeking affection in the shallowest of places, giving people bits of me that they didn’t deserve. All at the same time, allowing myself to be hurt because that’s what I thought I deserved. But once I let go of trying to solve the puzzles in my life, in all the places that it didn’t fit, once I let go of all the hate I stored that decorated the crevices of my heart.. I saw him, and fell in love all over again. With hesitation, the Universe decided to pull us back together. Happier, stronger and resilient. That time apart taught us to self-love but more importantly, to become a pair of individuals who choose to be with one another, instead of driving through the routine of dependency. And here we are now.. Together. I forget the rest.
So here are my doctors orders: Fall in love with your bestfriend. No, I do not say that lightly. Seriously, truly find the happiest friendship in the person you fall in love with. Someone who speaks highly of you. Someone you can make you laugh; the kind of laughs that make your belly ache and your nose snort. The embarrassing, earnest, healing kind of laughs. Wit is also important, life is too short not to love someone who doesn’t let you be a fool with them. Make sure they are somebody who lets you cry too. Despair will come. Find someone that you want to be there with you through those times. Most importantly, fall in love with the one that makes passion, love and madness combine and course through you; A love that will never dilute – even when the waters feel the deepest and look the darkest.
Remember to never give up because true love has a habit of coming back.